Fasing out is a crazy time for any elderly woman on her own for the first time smelling the fresh sea air as she trolls the ocean for crabs.

J. Jason Jasonton is the sole heir to the vast Slurpee fortune.  Whilst on assignment for his mentor, Austin Powers, he met his longtime girlfriend and longer time nemesis, Silky Pajamas.  All of Central Europe remembers the fight they had, which actually involved the use of nuclear missiles.  Fortunately, nobody was killed, but one guy went to the hospice with ingrown hangnails.  Austin convinced J. Jason to leave Silky and move to the moon, where he enjoys playing golf and backgammon.

Haasienda was born on a mountain top in Tennessee, killed her a bear when she was only 3.  Then, after a short and unfulfilling career as a tollbooth operator, she was discovered by Wigs member Steve Loukas at a Jefferson Airplane show at Red Rocks while the both were selling tuna sandwiches.  And the rest is history . . . . . .

It's Seething's birthday and Delby Imagine is just trying to find that one special gift that he thinks Steve will appreciate. Seething tells The Wigs to help Delby Imagine to shop for his gift. They did and found the perfect jacket that Steve wants. But then comes Seething's birthday and Delby Imagine switches the gift with a different one. A tacky cat sweater. Now Seething has to wear the sweater during his beach party and Amber and Ashley are trying to humiliate him by taking pictures and putting it in the yearbook. But in the end, Seething is happy that he got the sweater because he knew that he got it from someone special.

Robbing awoke from a 4 month self induced pop-rocks coma to find himself foaming at the mouth and berating inanimate objects.  He then decided the only solution to his sorrows was to attach electronics to his person and his automobile in hopes of setting off as many alarms and attracting as many Geek Squad members as possible.  No stranger to being used as furniture, Robbing hopes to support The Wigs and give them a leg, arm or ottoman to stand on.

After giving birth to Simon Bolivar, he knew South America would no longer be safe for him.  In a cocaine induced stupor, he passed out on boat bound for Denver.  After 300 years in hiding, he stumbled into a theater.  It was then that he was mistaken for a performer, a personality he has assumed to aid in hiding form his enemies.

Born on a hickory farm in the summer f fitty-ot-two Jack was the first of seven children, but he wouldn't be the last.  When he was old enough to walk, he did.  When he was old enough to leave home, he stayed to fulfill his life-long dream of playing World of Warcraft and involuntary abstinence.  When he turned 28 he decided to grow a mustache.  India was soon free of the British rule.